I am officially half-way done with radiation, and so far it hasn’t been too bad at all. The commute takes some time, and I have been waking up a bit later and falling asleep a little earlier, but besides all that, it is going swimmingly. I have 3 more weeks and then I can officially call myself a survivor.
Eric and I checked out books on tape at the library, so that has been a cool way to spend the commute time. We just finished Slaughterhouse 5. We’re glad we heard it, but it’s not too uplifting. Very modern and humanist and life-is-meaningless type literature. But it was fun to discuss it w/ Eric afterwards. Who knows what we will check out next! We go back to the library tomorrow.

My hair is slowly growing back, and I can now wear mascara again. That’s pretty exciting. I do get stares from time to time due to my very short “haircut,” but I’m looking more and more female each day. 🙂 I’ve even gotten a few compliments on my hair (gasp). I appreciate the kind people who compliment me, but I am certainly looking forward to having a bit more of it. But I’m thankful now to be able to go out and about without hats or wigs.

– I’ve continued to spend time each day in the yard… It’s hard work and hot out there!! But I’m happy to see the progress I’m making. Some day I may even look around and think, “This looks nice.”
– I have started planning for school. I have an outline of the semester and some great ideas. Now I have just one more week of free time to get more organized. I have avoided going to the classroom, but it’s time. I’m excited and filled with some dread all at the same time. That is a prayer request — that I may have more excitement and gratefulness and less dread. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done my job, so there are many transitions to get used to — getting up earlier, dressing professionally, talking much of the day, managing and running my classes, planning and grading — there is a lot that I haven’t done in 8 months… Pray that I get good kids! Well, the Lord knows and has a plan.
– We’ve enjoyed spending time with our friends the Dennises — saw a very good documentary about Darfur called The Devil Came on Horseback. Intense and moving. We had good conversation also with them — Esther and I talked a lot about how to live by the Spirit, relying on grace. Hard to do… I’m still trying to grasp how to do it as a regular practice, but it is so worth pursuing.
– We had a fun date night in Encino. Ate Cuban food and went to an art house movie in French w/ subtitles — Lorna’s silence. The main character comes around to her conscience in valuing and protecting human life by sacrificing her own dreams. Very sad. Afterwards we talked about the movie over dessert at Jerry’s Famous Deli. It was nice to have some varied activities outside of the SCV.
– We started reading Adopted for Life — A point made in the book so far is that all Christians are adopted, so the concept of adoption should not be so unusual and foreign for us… it should be something we think about a lot.
– We had dinner w/ Siona and got caught up on what’s going on in his life. He’s been a cool friend and support to us.
– We took a few walks around the neighborhood. I feel pretty strong and normal.

I’ve been reading through the Bible in a Year, which has been such a wealth of encouragement and wisdom. I’m currently reading Job and it has been good to consider this book at this time in life. I haven’t lost all the things around me as Job did, but I can relate a little to some of his struggle. Today’s sermon on Psalm 11 tied in perfectly, and it asks at one point, “When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?” I felt like some of my “foundations” were destroyed. Things I trusted in or had my heart set on. I trusted in my routine, I trusted in my health, I trusted in our plan to have children. These false foundations were destroyed and it was pretty unnerving for me.

Job’s “foundations” also, of family, health, and wealth were all destroyed. Even his friends and wife were not able to comfort him. But, Job affirms over and over that both good and bad things come from the hand of the Lord, and he continues to look to God as the sovereign One in control over all our circumstances. I’m glad Job expresses his emotion, though. He is a real person who feels great distress and calls upon God over and over throughout the book for relief. I am glad this book is in the Bible. I have felt great loss as some of the things I hoped in were taken away, but I see it as the hand of God removing them. He is always there reminding me that He is my foundation, a place for me to stand and the hope for me to trust in for my life.
He oversees the worst difficulties we face, and not without care and feeling.

I am glad I have had this brush with death in my diagnosis of cancer. I was never right at death’s door, but the reality of death seemed more real to me than usual. And now when I spend time with my dad who is so interested in prolonging his life through medicines and vitamins and alternative therapies, I wonder why. Why would he hold on to life so much and love this world so much to stay in it longer? The best things in this life that I have enjoyed and tasted have been just shadows and “seeing through a glass darkly.” In my heart I know there is so much more offered by the Lord than what is offered by this world, by what is enjoyed materially. Maybe we all know that deep down and that is why we humans are always searching for more. Strange how I know the source of the true “abundant life” but I still often choose other paths that look promising. I pray that all of you reading this may know and pursue the true source of abundant life, and consider the brevity of life and pointlessness of life without the Lord.



3 Responses

  1. Facebook Comment 8/3/09
    Amen, Jennene. Life is short. Let’s all focus on substantive living and shortly reuniting in Heaven!

  2. I just read that your hair is coming back and i am very excited for you.=D I cant wait to see you soon and I know for sure everyone is going to welcome you with open arms. We all had missed you since you’ve been gone, but we know you are a surviver and you will keep on surviving=D You are very special and kept close to my heart. Thank you for all you have ever done for me. Im so glad to hear radiation is almost done. YIPPIE
    – LOVE

  3. Facebook Comment August 3 2009 10:27pm
    What happened to my eye in that picture? I swear I wasn’t drinking!!

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